He’s a total softie *see the above story.* He illustrates daily the balance we strive for—being strong and tender. Being fierce and compassionate. Working hard and taking time to listen to someone else talk about their life. You CAN, in fact, physically move mountains and then come home and play with your children, read them bedtime stories, and tuck them in.
He encouraged us to be feminists even when it pushed back on his masculine ideology. That one may have turned into an “oops!” for him but I’m liking how it’s working so far! To be clear—feminism is just thinking that women should be considered equal to men. First story—Dad and I were driving to 5th grade after dropping the sisters off and it was career day and so we were planning my future career…as one does in 5th grade. I asked, “Dad, can girls do construction?” He said “Well I don’t know many that do but they can.” I set that in my heart then. I may be the only one he knows who does that…but it’s the path for me! Now, not only do we “do construction” but we set the direction and schedule the subs and manage the whole works! He even decided to work for us in that field. Now that’s a pretty big deal—for those of you who don’t get that yet. To intentionally make yourself subservient to someone who knows less than you in a field you’ve been working in your whole life so that THEY can get to where they want to go. That is a huge, big deal and I’ll never stop talking about it.
Second story—I was talking to him about sex before marriage AS ONE DOES with their dad. Haha! He was trying to make the point that “it’s different for girls and boys—the standards are different.” To which I replied “THE. STANDARDS. ARE. DIFFERENT…exactly.” He raised his eyebrows, thought for a minute, and said “well…that isn’t right. I never thought of it that way before.”
He’s willing to admit when he should consider a new thought or idea. Not everyone is like this. Exhibit A: 2020.
He has constantly fought against the idea that he would have more fun with us if we were sons. “Oh I bet you wish you had a son.” (Don’t get me started on this but it’s a total trash idea and those people should be ashamed of themselves.) He emphasized that WE were exactly who he wanted, what he wanted. Period. Now that we’re grown there may be times he wishes we wouldn’t do a certain thing, say a certain word, etc. but IT’S TOO LATE. I already believe that I’m who you want—just how I am. All of me.
He is a total party, a doer, a true helper, a defender, a provider, and a Doodad. I think it says a lot that one of Ruth’s first and most constant word was “Doodad”…that when she sees a hat, a truck, or sometimes even just a man she says “Doodad!” (Fathers’ Day props to Nick, also, who epitomizes the words “stable foundation” for his family!)
We love you!