Katie’s Honest Review of Marriage


Something they unfortunately don’t tell you about marriage is honestly, how awesome it is. When we were engaged everybody joked about our life being over, or the ball and chain, or whatever those horribly geriatric and patriarchal jokes are. I can’t roll my eyes enough. They mentioned how hard it would be or how messy having a male roommate is. (which honestly like…is that even a thing? Are other men slobs? What are y’all talking about?)  They mentioned that kids “make it all the more harder” and I can’t even honestly repeat the horrendous comments and advice I received regarding sex and marriage. I was genuinely terrified to step into this commitment because everybody made it sound like hell on wheels! Why are we choosing to get married if it’s genuinely this horrible?

But what they never said is “OMG! This is the most fun you’re ever going to have in your whole life! I can’t believe it!!!!! Get ready to laugh your head off constantly!!” — This is the most accurate overall characterization of my marriage, and I pray of every marriage!


For those of you who don’t know, my husband and I have been friends since 5th grade. I say that’s when we first met (though he swears we met in 3rd grade when I was mean to him in Sunday school.) And for as long as I’ve known him, we’ve spent the majority of our time laughing. In fact one time I was dating another boy and my dad sat me down and said “I dont get what you’re doing. The boy you’re dating makes you cry. The boy you’re friends with makes you laugh all the time. Why aren’t you dating the boy who makes you laugh?” — He was really on to something. 🙂

This picture is from our first day at our house after getting married 🙂 It’s obviously not the best quality photo I’ve ever taken, but it just brings so much joy to my heart!!! Look at that smile!!! He’s so pure!


This very week I experienced a very bizarre, almost out-of-body experience. I looked at Nicholas giving Ruth a bath, he looked over and smiled at me, and all at once I saw him as a 7th grader hunting for crawdad’s in the river in Oregon, I saw him as a Senior in his football uniform with all that curly hair, I saw him as a handsome, handsome, HANDSOME, (is 3 handsome’s too much?!) college boy on campus, and a half a dozen other specific images from my glorious memory of him and I was deeply touched by the blessing of such an incredible history together.

We had 20 years of history the day we said “I do!” Our marriage now sits on a 24 year foundation of memory and joy and tragedy and there’s nothing like it in the world. My therapist asked me the other day what words I would use to describe my marriage. I thought for a minute and said “Joyful. Thorough. Fortified. Secure.” When I asked nick he said “Hilarious. Battle-hardened. Safe. Forever.”


So for my friends who are newly engaged or considering marriage in the near future, I’d love to tell you, get ready for joy, hilarity, safety, and security. You’ll learn about the rest when you get there!

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